In the spirit of Christmas, a little Tabloid Junkie fun! Enjoy.
POP STAR MICHAEL JACKSON CONFESSED, AT 11 HE WITNESSED MOM’S SECRET AFFAIR!
Sources tell us that Jackson admitted to being traumatized over the sight of his mother Katherine Jackson kissing a strange North Pole man by the name of Santa Claus, aka Kris Kringle. Jackson insisted his mother was carrying on the secret affair while she thought Jackson and his siblings were asleep. Jackson said the encounter he witnessed included such lascivious acts as beard tickling .Our sources say Jackson tried to tell his siblings of the affair, but to no avail. The Jackson siblings have stunchly denied that the affair occurred. Jackson then reportedly threatened to report the affair to his father Joe Jackson. According to a source close to the family, this may explain why the Jackson patriarch moved out of the Encino compound and is now living in Las Vegas.
Though some sources insist that Santa Clause was merely delivering gifts, it seems highly unlikely that there was any legit reason for Claus (or Mr. Kringle) to be visiting this strict, Jehovah’s Witness home. The 11-year-old Jackson swore repeatedly that he saw his mother and Claus locked in an embrace beneath the mistletoe, though it remains a mystery as to why Katherine Jackson picked this one night out of the year to forego her religion and hang mistletoe. A close friend of the family says she was suspicious when she noticed Christmas decorations adorning the Jackson home several days prior to Christmas Eve.
Some sources have even hinted that the secret affair might have been a long standing one. They insist this is the explantion for Jackson’s changing skin color-his secret father may have been the very Causoid Santa Claus, rather than Joe Jackson! The source would not disclose whether they thought there was any possibility that Claus (aka Mr. Kringle) may also have been the biological father of Randy and Janet.
According to noted child psychologist Dr. Sueme, “The trauma of a child so young witnessing an affair by a parent cannot be underestimated. This could well have attributed to some of the pop star’s problems in later life.”
However, it seemed that Jackson was willing to forgive his mother Katherine for this early transgression. As for Joe Jackson, according to our sources the octogenerian patriarch has offered no comment.
Our attempts to contact Santa Claus have also been unsuccesful, as our head office was informed by an elf that Santa Claus is apparently out of his office and not expected to return until the 26th.
However, we were informed by a very irate Mrs. Claus that her husband did put in a lot of unexplained late hours Christmas of 1970, but scoffed at any notion of a possible relation between her husband and the late King of Pop, insisting if there were any truth to it, “Don’t you think I’d be hitting his estate up for some money, instead of sewing these &%$#ing elf mitts 364 days of the year?!”